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Rain.Soy Latte.Flowers.Sea
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Thursday, July 17, 2008 just sent vivian off to UK guess i wont be seeing her for the next 2 years or sooooo.. she's one of the closest mate i've ever had. she knew all the secrets of mine and i knew everything about her. but we grew apart as we grow older. however, it didnt change the fact that we were still best frens. we still care for each other. =) am gonna miss her soooooooooooo much... take care hun! i will make sure i'll update my blog more often. hehe.. thanks for DHANISH's company the tea latte take away. the ass and the walking escalator. the crazy photo sessions. the addictive monopoly *the malaysian way*. everything and everything. of coz the stockings ;) u know u still love me! hehe.. ******************************************************* when was the last time i really cry? i guess it was when i cut my toe at the club. lol.. i didnt cry when i left for melb i didnt cry when broke up wit him i didnt even cry when he left i guess all these were not as painful as the cut that i had on my toe?? i wonder... what makes u cry? i used to cry so much that sometimes i even cry when i watch a movie. but what happened to me? is it that ive grown stronger or all these happening didnt mean anything to me at all? or is it true that i really have a heart that's made out of plastic that it will nvr be broken? what is it that makes me less attached to all the emotions and feelings? was it because that ive learnt not to get too emotional with relationship because i always ended up getting hurt? and it was never good to be hurt again and again. ****************** i was talking to vivian (hk)last night she told me that nothing special had happened this year that made her life bored. she did not feel happy nor sad. and she was actually pretty upset with that. but as for me. after i came back from melb. for the past few weeks. i did not feel extremely happy or sad as welllllll.. but i was actually feeling pretty relaxed and relieve when i realised that and it makes me wonder what's so bad about being single? lol.. single isnt that bad afteralll... i don need anyone. right now. i always think that when i get into a relationship the person that i am in the relationship is not myself. i could give up all my principal and everything just to make the other person happy. and i am not. and i will try to be happy. it only gets better after a few months. by then, ive changed into another person. a person that he expects me to be but not the person that i really am. sometimes changes are not bad. but when it changes the whole personality and affects ur life. when ur life is all about him. that's no good at alll... so why do we need to be wit someone when we might lost our ownself? we don need anyone to be somelse. i just wanna be myself. i love the person i am now. and i think who i am now is definitely 'socially acceptable' and can be considered a good person. hahaha... i am a normal gal. that's living her 19-year-old life. i hate trying hard to be someone that he wants me to be. no matter what happened, we cant deny the fact that we do change in a relationship either in a good or bad way. we learn and grow. as i am writing. i know what makes me stop crying over relationship. just because i've learnt that life's not just about relationship. it's about me. my family. my friends. and my dreams. there sre so many other things that re more important in life that i care for more. that's why it didnt matter if he leaves, it didnt matter if we were going to break up. my dreams and family re more important than relationship. i guess that's why i didnt cry at all.. i was upset. but it didnt hurt as much when i did so badly for my LIL assignment. lol... oh well... long long entry that makes me realise that once again! ive grown older. hahaa... i'll be surprise if u read till here. do tag me if u've come all these way. haha.. just to see how many of u care for me. =p alrighty. it took almost an hour to post this entry. enough for tonight. nighty night peepssss.. |
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Affiliates Cheryl Yong Jeah Loong Jeff Sia Jia Chang JuCia LooLoo Pig PeiYi SheShe Su Min Vivian LeeHW Vivian LeeSY Voon Hee XiaoWaiYu Bygones it was just another normal day when uni was as bor... hey babeeee~i haven been updating since i got back... dhanish said my older blog is better coz i was mor... .it hurts the most when you start missing someone ... i consider myself as a human being (aka people)so ... jyn and her big fat ass is staying put at home ton... yes!i've watched sex and the city ytd!!!awesomeawe... rejected a guy a few days ago. he has just broke u... am addicted to bubble town!!it's a facebook applic... qin ai de!i used to know everything in your life. ... Take a bow Designer: Eunice Inspiration: Plastic!Romance Color: Color picker tool Icon: Reviviscent |
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